After a long and hard decision, I have come to the conclusion that my pack is no longer an RPG...

Its an RPF.
We are no longer a game.... we are a family.

For years I have been calling my pack more of a family then a game, I might as well make it official. When you have pack members at your side for over 5 years and you know them better then most of your in real life family members, it goes beyond the limit of a game. When you have members that have been at your side for 10+, you know you are doing something right.

The love my pack gives me, and the joy they bring me is all I could ever ask for. I am proud to be called their alpha, and I hope that, for many years to come, I will still be able to hold that title close to my heart.

I love you all dearly, you have changed my life and have brought so much happiness to it.

I am looking for a PHP coder that can code a breedable site. Many files are already done, but more needs to be in place. Payment in the future is an option, but right now, the site needs to get off the ground for that to happen. If you think you would be interested, please msg me or post here.

Examples are a plus!

If you know ajax/JS that is a HUGE plus.


Thanks guys! I really could use the help, and like I said, payment in the future is there but we need to get this off the ground for that to happen! We have people already donating to the site but in order to keep people coming back, we need an amazing site so they do!

NO this is not spam, please do not reguard it as such XD

I am an admin of Dark Shadows Breedables and I thought I would invite any and all who wanted to check it out!

We are looking for Alphas.
Alphas are the first non staff to enter and test the site.

Alphas help -
1) test the site
2) work out kinks
3) most importantly give us feed back.
4) will be in site as we add new features for opening.
5) watch it be built from the inside, while testing current features.


If your interested you are more then welcome to
play the forum game version at the alpha forum and build your
supply of items and Dama.



Requirements -
Must be an active Alpha member,
that means also posting feed back,
not just logging in.


Perks -
1) Forever upgraded accounts with all upgrade perks
2) Two free customs when available
3) First non staff in site
4) First to preview and purchase new items and dama
5) Low Number Account
6) Many Free items

To become an alpha,
please sign up below :)

Forum registration & account activation required.

To sign up head to the forums and tell them that Tala sent ya! We are needing about 30 Alpha members so please please please do not hesitate to sign up!

THE BASICS

Name: Tala Gordon
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Screen Name: Tala
Birthday: 07/13/82
Hometown: Bangor Maine
Current Town: Cicero, NY
Pets: 2 cats, 2 dogs
Smoker: Hell NO!
Drinker: Hell Yes!

APPEARANCE

Hair Color: Brown
Eye color: green
Height: 5'7"
Glasses/Contacts/None? Contacts
Freckles: Yes
Body Type: fluffy
Shoe Size: 10
Piercings: ear
Overall Best Feature?: eyes
Overall Worst Feature?: thighs

LIKES/DISLIKES

Favorite Color: green
Worst Color: pink
Favorite Number: 13
Favorite Animal: wolf
Least Favorite Animal: Arabian horses
Favorite Flower: Night blooming jasmine/ sweetpea
Favorite Food: lobster
Worst Food: steamed brocoli
Favorite Junk Food: chocolate
Worst Junk Food: coconut
Favorite Restaraunt: Red Lobster
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: moose tracks
Favorite Candy: orange tic tacs
Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Smirnoff
Favorite NON Alcoholic Drink: pepsi
Worst Alcoholic Drink: beer
Worst NON Alcoholic Drink: coke
Favorite Genre of Music: classic Rock
Worst Genre: Rap
Favorite Band/Artist: Eagles
Worst Band/Artist: ?
Favorite Song:
Worst Song: Baba O'riley - The Who
Favorite Radio Station: none
Favorite Book: too many
Favorite Type of Movie: horror
Worst Type of Movie: british humor
Favorite Movie: Labyrinth
Worst Movie Ever: holy grail
Favorite TV Show: trublood
Worst TV Show: family guy
Favorite Season of the Year: fall
Worst Season: summer
Best Friend: sawah
Favorite Day of the Week: Friday
Least Favorite Day of the Week: Tesuday
One thing you cant get enough of: love
One thing you hate more than anything: animal abuse

LOVE LIFE

Are You Single? NO
If not, who is your bf/gf? Rick
How Long Have You Been Together? Almost two years
Ever Kiss in the Rain? Yes
In a Movie Theater? Yes
Underwater? Yes
First Love: Do not remember
Have you ever Cheated on Anyone? No
Been Cheated on? Yes
Used Someone? No
Been used? Yes
Lied to your bf/gf? Yes
Ever Made out With Just a Friend? No
Ever Had Sex With Just a Friend? No
Are You a Tease? No
Do you Flirt a Lot? No
Longest Relationship: 3 years
Shortest: 1 week
Have you Ever Gotten a Poem? No
Ever Get Flowers? 1 rose
Sweetest Thing You've Ever Gotten: chocolate ;)
Do you Like Valentine's Day or Sweetest Day? Not really.
Do you Believe in Love at First Sight? Yes
Do you Fall in Love Fast? Depends
Do you want to get married? Yes

OTHER

Can you drive? Yes
Do You Have a Car? Yes
Do you have a cell phone? No
Are you online a lot? Yes
Do you like gay/bi people? Love them
Can you speak another language? No
Do you collect anything? Yes
Have an obsession? Yes
Do you hate yourself? Sometimes
Ever smile for no reason? Yes
Talk to yourself? When making desicions
Do you have any regrets? Yes
Believe in magic? Yes
Do you support gay marriage? Hell yea
Sex before marriage? Why not?
Do you trust people easily? No
Forgive easily? No
Do you get along with your parents? Yes
What about other people? Sometimes
How do you vent your anger? Clean the house
Goal Before you die?
Biggest Fear: Going Blind
Biggest Weakness: self confindence
Do you play an instrument? no
What do you want to be when you grow up? I am gonna grow up??? XD

PERSONALITY TRAITS - Are you...

A bitch? Sometimes
A daydreamer? Yes
Shy? No
Talkative? Kinda
Energic? No
Happy? Eh..
Depressed? Heh
Funny? Yes
Slutty? No
Boring? No
Mean? Depends
Nice? Yes
Caring? Yes
Trustworthy? Yes
Confident? Eh..
Friendly? Yes
Smart? Kinda
Sarcastic? No
Dependable? Yes
Quiet? No
Weird? YES!
Adaptable? Yes
Strong (emotionally)? No
Strong (physically)? Yes
Mature? Yes
Logical? Yes
Religious? No
Modest? Yes
Sympathetic? Yes
Polite? Yes
Creative? Yes
Fun to be around? Yes
Loveable? Yes
Easily Amused? Yes
Outgoing? Yes
Daring? YES
Clumsy? Sometimes
Nosy? No
Lazy? Yes
Scary? YES!
Optimistic? Yes
Persuasive? No
A good listener? Yes
Curious? Yes
Determined? Yes
Artistic? Yes
Honest? Yes
Respectful? Yes
Cocky? Heh no
Controlling? Sometimes
Playful? Yes
Easygoing? Yes
Carefree? NO
Hot Headed? Eh
Serious? Sometimes
Thoughtful? Yes
Considerate? Yes
Stubborn? Yes
Romantic? Yes
Ambitious? Yes
Jealous? Yes
Insecure? Yes
Obsessive? Yes
Attentive? Yes
Helpful? Yes
Punctual? Yes
Rational? Yes
Sincere? Yes
Tolerant? Yes

I am SO glad I have grown up.

My turn to rant!!! Go ahead and flame me, smear my name, my pack's name whatever. Because you know what, I do not care. This is the ONE and ONLY time I will be saying my opinion about anyone. If you think you can find me a log which talks bad about someone else, go ahead and post it.

[rant]

So in the past week or so I have been hearing so much bullshit about this pack and that pack and she did this and omfg did you hear what so and so did!! Then I see all the juicy rants on LJ!

Here is my two cents:
I do not fucking care who you are, how long you have been in wolf roleplay, you need to fucking grow up and put your energies into your own packs, and not everyone elses. I now have 5 people that have been at my side for 10 years. I watched them grow up from 13 year old brats to college students. That says a LOT about me. To be able to have that many people, and twice that going on 5 years, at my side, I HAVE to be doing something right.

Rumors have been circulating and reaching my pack that I too have been stealing members, for how can a pack that had 6 members swell to 20+ almost over night? Not by stealing for most of those new members have never roleplayed a wolf before. The only one that has, is Skah. I have been having people zip onto my network and immediately leave again. I can only come up with one of two things... 1. You are looking for someone, 2. you are /listing then leaving to see how many people are in my channels and the topics. Not good.. it pisses me off.

Now to the individual honors!

Kovo: You and I have had our differences, but its been a long time since I have known a more worthy Alpha. I will ALWAYS count you as a sister.

Silverlune: You and I have had our differences as well and they have been worked out. I keep a guarded friendship with you, and perhaps one day that will change.

Dante`: You are old enough to do whatever the hell you want to do. Your past is your concern, and do not let children make you feel like shit, but I know you are better then that. HEY GUESS WHAT!!! I CYBERED TOOOOO!!! *gasp*

Skah:Innocent in my eyes for I have never seen anything bad from you. I would call you my sister any day.

SilverEyes: The only times I have encountered you, you were a complete bitch. I do not know you well enough to completely say anything about you, but I think it would be best if you and I stayed away from each other ^.^

MoonWeaver: I thought you were better then most people then to bitch and complain about others.. I guess I was wrong.

Shoga: Skah was with you for so damn long, and you allowed others to to influence you even though she was at your side for all those years...I am at a loss for words to that.

dagda, amythist, ski`ake, crikett whatever the hell you are called now...: I have been an alpha now for over 10 years and I have never met someone like you. You have not only created 3 different packs that I know of when it suits your needs, you have come close to destroying others. I offered my network for your pack, not once, but twice. The first time, it was my fault. The second, you did not even have the balls to tell me that you were leaving. What really gets me though, is you have caused so much chaos and strife that I do not think you even care who you hurt.

What in the hell do you think you are doing by DEMANDING people to roleplay as if you were a fucking slave driver?? Then you wonder why you create so many damn packs and none of them work. People have lives, they are human. To demote someone because they are not around 24/7 is not a good thing. If they are one twice a week, that should be good enough! Even though their real life takes them away, they still make an effort to be online. You need to see this and understand that.

I do not consider you alpha material, nor will I ever recognize you as one. I do not wish to see you on my network again, nor do I wish to have any contact with you what so ever. You can smear my name all you want, talk bad about me, but know this, I will be the better person, for I have never done anything like that to you.


I am ashamed to consider the fact that some people think they are good enough to be called alphas, or packs for that matter. To be an alpha, its NOT to lead, but to serve your pack. You are NOTHING without your pack. You will become a good leader by placing ALL of your members above you. Ask yourselves this. "What can I do to make my pack better, How I can I keep my pack happy, and what can I do to make my channels a place for people to want to stay?" Once you have those answers, and once you start to serve your pack, then and ONLY then will be begin to lead.

[/rant]

OK so its been a few days since she has been gone...


But...

I am still hearing her chain collar at night. Yesterday during the day I would hear noises as if something was jumping off the bed and hitting the floor, yet all of my animals were downstairs with me. That happened often which annoyed me..

But that got me REALLY jittery...

4:54am this morning I heard a loud crash downstairs. I raced down the stairs and looked around. Rick's wheelie, computer chair was toppled over.. I know damn well that the cats do not have enough power to completely topple that over without it just wheeling away....

I went into the bathroom and my box of tampons were scattered EVERYWHERE on the floor... they were up on a shelf where no one could get them....

Rick said that a spirit remains intact for about 3 days before letting go, though some humans tend to not understand their place in the world and will hang on... hence ghosts. I can understand that...


My question is this...

Is she mad at us? Is she trying to tell us that she is still here? I so not understand why these things would happen. She was old, yes. I fought to try to get Rick to do the surgery instead. I am hoping that she is not mad at us and wanting to let us know, because its really hard to sit here listening and seeing these things.

6:20 am on Friday and I cannot sleep for my heart is heavy... I woke up with a poem in my head that was dying to get out. I have not wrote a poem in so long, so this may seem a little childish:


Today is the day to say goodbye,
Though I do not want you to go.
I will cherish all the times we had,
Though most will never know.

The memories of the times we spent,
Will be tucked away in my heart.
I do not want to say goodbye now,
I don't want to fall apart.

We sit together quietly,
With your head upon my lap.
I gently stroke your head,
As you tail gives a final tap.

You close your eyes and give a sigh,
The final breath you make.
A smile forms upon your face,
And my heart begins to break.

Today is the day to say goodbye,
Though I know you'll always be here.
In our thoughts and our hearts,
we will always hold you near.

For my beloved Serena, Friday February 13, 2009